


Knowing and Believing

by CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)



Series: One Night at a Time [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24256942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil
Summary: Y/n shows up in Lily Dale and manages to get out of town before Dean sees her, but unfortunately his nosy little brother isn’t as oblivious to her presence.~~~~~~~~~~~“Can I get another spoon?!” a familiar and irritated voice calls out. Sam. Shit. Where’s the damn Impala?!“Oh! Nikolai got another one!” the cheery hippie waiter says, laughing as he sets a mug in front of me. “Don’t let the kineticist get ahold of your silverware.”I twist in my seat and look around to see the Winchesters sitting at a table overlooking the door. How the fuck did I miss them walking in? Fuck, how do I get out of here without them seeing me?A skinny woman with bright blue eyes and black hair sits down across from me. “Why don’t you want them to see you?” she asks and my eyes go wide. “You care for the green-eyed one a great deal.”“Who the hell are you?” I whisper.“Matilda Cherish. I’m a psychic.”“Of course you are,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/You
Series: One Night at a Time [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647841
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	Knowing and Believing

**Story Warnings** : mentions of harm to reader, scars, poor self-esteem

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I get to Lily Dale a couple days after the psychic takes a spirit board planchette to her throat. A town full of psychics…right before their big psychic festival. I’d call the whole thing a publicity stunt for the festival if it weren’t their top-rated spooks gettin’ ganked.

I’m on the lookout for the Impala when I drive into town, the surefire sign that I need to leave. I know Dean’s back in it, has been for more than a year. If I see the car, I can get out of here before he even sees me.

I don’t see the car, though, so I park and head into a cafe called Good Graces. The waiter at the host stand smiles at me. “Hello! First time at Good Graces?” he asks.

“First time in Lily Dale. So…take that how you want,” I answer. I just want a cup of coffee and some pancakes.

“Well, we’re 100% locally sourced, biodynamic, and you get a free affirmation with every order,” he says, excitedly.

“Cool. Is it food?” I snap.

He laughs and grabs a menu. “This way.”

I follow him to a table in the corner and smile as he hands me the menu. “I’ll skip the affirmation. Go ahead and bring me some pancakes, bacon and a cup of coffee with room for cream.”

“All right.” He walks away with a bit of a skip in his step. Why are these hippies always so…cheerful?

I run my hands down my face and lean my head back against the back of the booth.

“Can I get another spoon?!” a familiar and irritated voice calls out. Sam. Shit. Where’s the damn Impala?!

“Oh! Nikolai got another one!” the cheery hippie waiter says, laughing as he sets a mug in front of me. “Don’t let the kineticist get ahold of your silverware.”

I twist in my seat and look around to see the Winchesters sitting at a table overlooking the door. How the fuck did I miss them walking in? Fuck, how do I get out of here without them seeing me?

A skinny woman with bright blue eyes and black hair sits down across from me. “Why don’t you want them to see you?” she asks and my eyes go wide. “You care for the green-eyed one a great deal.”

“Who the hell are you?” I whisper.

“Matilda Cherish. I’m a psychic.”

“Of course you are,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“I’m not one of these frauds. I don’t live in Lily Dale. I take a vacation once a year to see their ridiculous festival.” I know real psychics exist. I’ve just never met one. “You’ve met one now.” That’s creepy. She laughs. “It’s just how things are with psychics. Now, tell me…the boys in the suits. Why are you avoiding them?”

I sigh. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s really not,” she disputes and I roll my eyes again. “You’ve got a thing for him. He’s got a thing for you. Why don’t-”

“He really doesn’t,” I quietly snap. “We’ve slept together a few times but that’s just…physical imperative. He doesn’t _like_ me. We’re not even friends. I’m just the ugly chick he doesn’t have to try with, okay? I can guarantee you that there’s some hot fake psychic in this town that he’s gonna be all over in no time. It’s just how he is.”

“You really believe that, too. You hunters really aren’t the smartest set.” How fuckin’ rude. “Exactly as rude as I need to be to make you see how stupid you’re being.” She looks over at Sam and Dean’s table, where Dean has started to cut into his pancakes. “He doesn’t really know how he feels for you, because he’s not good with his emotions, but you definitely know how _you_ feel…and if you would pay attention to how he treats you, you’d know how he feels, too.”

“How he treats me? We use each other, Matilda. We always have. That’s not ‘feels’. That’s fucks,” I say as the waiter drops off my pancakes and bacon. “Thanks, Patchouli.”

She sighs and pulls out a business card. “If you ever want to take an honest look at your life and possible future.” She sets the card on the table and stands. “I also know some good magic for scars.” She looks over at Dean again. “Melanie Golden. But he’s not going to do anything more than flirt and save her life.”

“Good to know,” I manage to say as I take a bite of my own pancakes. Just like I said…some fake psychic with a pretty face. I eat my food as she disappears out the door.

I try to keep myself from looking over at him, but I can’t. Sam sees me about halfway through my breakfast, but he doesn’t say anything to Dean. Thank you, Sam. It gives me a chance to slip out after I pay my bill.

It’s two days later that Sam calls me. “Hey, Y/n.”

“Didn’t even know you had my number, Sam. You’ve never used it before.”

“I didn’t…took it from Dean’s phone,” he replies.

“Dean’s never used it, either.”

“Yeah, about that,” he says and it’s leading.

“Do we really gotta do this, Sam?”

“I saw you in Lily Dale, Y/n. I know you saw us. Why didn’t you come over?”

I scratch my nails across my scalp and shrug. “It’s complicated.”

“Y/n, Dean doesn’t have any relationships that _aren’t_. But, come on. Every time he sees you, he smiles.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah. He smiles every time he sees a cheeseburger, too. Doesn’t mean it’s good for him to have one every time.”

“Look, I know it’s not really my business-”

“Then why are you gonna say it?” I interrupt.

“Dean needs people in his life that he can trust, right now. All he has is me and Bobby and I know he trusts-”

“He barely _knows_ me.” I shake my head. “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to call Dean, Y/n. Just check up on him. Can you do that? Can you stop acting like you don’t give a damn about him for a minute?”

“Sam…” I sigh and rub my hand down my face. “It doesn’t matter if I give a damn about _him_. _He_ doesn’t care.”

“Why do you think that?” He’s getting frustrated with me.

“He only ever slept with me because I was the only one available. He was vulnerable and I was there.”

“Every time?”

I scoff. Why does that even matter? “No, but…now I’m just convenient? I don’t know.” I can’t help but think of Matilda saying I should pay attention to the way he treats me.

“Look, I’ve known my brother longer than anyone and he doesn’t go for women who are convenient. And, ya know…there’s not a lot of women he goes _back_ to.”

I can’t. I can’t get my hopes up that there’s something there. There’s not…I can’t. “Maybe I’m just the one who keeps ending up in front of him.”

“Just call him, Y/n.”

I roll my eyes again. “Fine. Hey, where’s the Impala?”

“Hidden. It’s too identifiable. Call Dean. Ask him about the Leviathans,” he says before hanging up on me.

Great. Now I _have_ to call him to find out the monster du jour. Fuck. I don’t wanna do this shit.

I pull up his number and force myself to hit the ‘Call’ button. It rings twice and I’m about to hang up when it clicks. “Y/n?” He sounds surprised that I’m calling. Awesome.

“Hey. Uh…I…Sam just called, told me to…he said…What’s a Leviathan?” At least I was able to get that sentence out.

“If you were on with Sam, why didn’t _he_ tell you?”

Good question. “You’ll have to ask him, I guess. So, come on, man. Tell me about Leviathans.”

He sighs and I pinch the bridge of my nose. He doesn’t wanna talk to me. Why am I on this stupid phone? “It’s a long story but they’re monsters outta Purgatory. Unkillable, shapeshifting monsters. Only weakness seems to be Borax.”

“The cleaner?”

“Yup. They don’t do good with decapitation, either, but nothing seems to actually kill them, so…keep an eye out, I guess.”

“And they’re the reason you’re not traveling in style these days?”

“How do you know _I’m_ driving crap cars?” he asks. Shit.

“Because I didn’t see your Chevy in Lily Dale,” I answer honestly.

“You were in Lily Dale? What the hell, Y/n?” He sounds almost angry now.

“I didn’t want to bother you. I knew you and Sam could handle a ghost without me.”

“Right…and you couldn’t come over, say ‘Hi. Haven’t seen you since we took down the demon that scarred me up. How’s life now that your apple pie got destroyed by your best friend? Glad your brother’s not still in Hell’?”

Something about that angry tone of voice…I swallow and shake my head. “I didn’t know your apple pie got destroyed. How would I know that?”

“You could have walked over and asked! I’ve had so much bullshit to deal with over the last year and a half, Y/n, and you could have _asked_!”

“Would you have _told_ me?” I snap. “If I had walked over and asked what the fuck you were doing hunting again? If I’d asked what happened to Lisa, would you have told me? Or would you have shut me down because it’s none of my business because I’m just the fool you fall into bed with when you’re looking for a convenient place to stick your dick?” God, why did I call? “I’m sorry about whatever happened to you over the last year and a half, but we both know you wouldn’t have confided in me about it. That’s not what I’m good for.”

I hang up before he can respond. That was a mistake. That was why I’ve never called him before…and I’m not going to call him again. I can’t.

I wake in the middle of the night. Something isn’t right. I reach under my pillow for my Taurus, but it’s missing. There’s a thud sound over by the table in the corner. “If you’re looking for this, I confiscated it for my own safety.” Dean. Why? He flips on the light and I cringe against the sudden brightness. “Ya know, I’m gettin’ real fuckin’ tired of you disappearin’ on me. Elizabethville, Meridian, Cicero, now Lily Dale? You got a habit of just up and leaving, half of those without a damn word to me.”

I roll my eyes and run my fingers through my hair. “Am I supposed to wait around for _you_ to leave? And really, you’re gonna lump Cicero in with that? You know why I had to leave in Cicero.”

“And what if I wasn’t planning to leave?”

“Then I’d have to ask you where you put the real Dean because you’re obviously a shifter,” I snap, standing. “I’m not delusional, Dean. We’ve had this conversation before, remember? Elizabethville.”

“I wanted you to stay in Meridian. I wanted you to stay in Cicero.” He stands, too, and God he’s so tall. “You keep makin’ these assumptions…and you don’t talk ‘em out with me half the time so how’m I supposed to dispute ‘em?”

I roll my eyes and look away from him. “Why would you want me to stay, Dean? _Especially_ in Cicero. Seriously, ask yourself that. The only thing _I_ can think of is that you might have wanted to sabotage yourself.”

He takes a deep breath, his jaw ticks as he clenches and unclenches it, and then he takes a step closer to me. “The universe sabotages me enough without my help, Y/n.” He cocks his head to the side and pokes his tongue out of his mouth to tease his bottom lip and that’s so un-fucking-fair. “I’ve told you, Y/n. I like you…and just because we always end up in bed together doesn’t mean that I _only_ like you in bed. You’re a badass hunter. You’re smart and funny. I _want_ you around. Pisses me off to think you only stayed in Lily Dale long enough to see that Sam and I were there…makes me wonder how many times you rolled into a hunt and left as soon as you saw my car.”

I look away from him. More than a couple.

He steps closer again and reaches out to grab the back of my neck. I look up at him and bite my lip. “Don’t run anymore. Come hunt with me and Sammy.”

The psychic said he doesn’t know how he feels…but he really seems to know that he wants me to come with him. That’s kinda undeniable…and maybe it’s telling that we always end up in bed together, that neither of us can really keep our hands to ourselves, that we know how to give the other what they need when they need it.

“Okay,” I whisper and he smiles. I love that smile.

“All right. I’ll fill you in on the Leviathans on the way,” he says as he steps away. “I’m gonna get us some grub from the food truck in the car wash parking lot. Load up in the blue Challenger out front.”

I nod as he walks away. Why do I feel like this is gonna blow up in my face?


End file.
